Homemaker Pro #6 Forgetful and Disorganized!

I could start off by telling you the best made up story for missing the last two HPro posts BUT...that would be YET another excuse for my forgetfulness and disorganization! So instead, I'm going to tell YOU how to be forgetful and disorganized, like me! It's very complex so please try to keep up.

First - You MUST, and I repeat, You MUST...live on 5 hours of sleep each night! With interruptions. If you don't have children to wake up in the middle of the night, set your alarm at 2am and 5am.

2nd - You'll need 35 minutes to get ready in the morning! Yes, that's including a shower! Hair, Make-Up, Etc. Take off 5 minutes if your phone rings and 5 minutes if you want to eat something.

3. - You get to take your children to school....see if you make it out of the parking lot without a child saying they FORGOT something! To bad, get out!
{You have to talk like that to be like me!}

Four! - While six of your kids are at school....
This is important so listen UP!....YOU MUST follow a 2yo around with Clorox Bleach and a washcloth cleaning the walls and furniture, for 7 hours. Mr. Man calls this one Picasso!

5th -
This one's TRICKY so pay attention. Make sure to get ALL your Appts in your calender, iPHONE, Planner, sticky notes(everywhere) and on your bathroom mirror with lipstick....and Don't forget to tell your secretary, you don't have a secretary? I feel sorry for you! After all this is done, YOU MUST...forget the appointment and pay the 'NO SHOW' fee! {Don't ask how many times I've done this, it would be WAY to embarrassing.}

6. - YOU MUST intentionally forget to make a 'weekly menu' for dinners. Secretly hoping a COOK will show up at 5pm every night to cook a super yummy meal, then vanish into the night so EVERYONE thinks it was YOU who came up with the most amazing meal EVER!
{twisted, I know!}

Seventh - Your PANTRY has to look like a Tornado hit it! {'nuff said}

8TH -
Your list of 'PROJECTS' should be at least...oh, I don't know...1 mile long! If you are NOT weighed down with 'projects'..like sewing, decorating your kids rooms, scrapbooking, painting, etc. You cannot be like ME! You HAVE to be totally weighed down, SORRY.

NINE - In your spare time,
EAT as much CHOCOLATE as you can so you gain 15-20lbs. I told you it was gonna be hard to be like ME! You have to work at it.

10. - Use this MOTTO.......
i'M A pROfessioNAL heRe!! I'm working!

Now, you have all the skills to be like ME, Forgetful and Disorganized!



Kristina P. said...

I think someone needs to be more of a slacker mom!!

The EcoDiva said...

Oh darling....you know me sooo well ;)

ciara said...

i think i have this m.o. down pat...on TOP of being LAZY. lol

Kris said...

You are so dang funny! I can relate all too well...especially on the very, very few hours of sleep a night!

GeorgiaBecksteads said...

OK, you just described my life to a T! I'm glad to know I'm doing it like a pro! :)

RazzberryMomma said...

Seems I'm rather good at being just like you! Glad to see I'm doing it right. Thanks for the chuckle. Loved the post!

Victoria@WhimsybyVictoria said...

Wow!! Are we living the same life?! I felt like I was reading something I wrote!! lol. So funny Kristin!!! I love the "Too bad, get out!" I so feel this way with my own little chickens! I am laughing, thanks for giving us a lighthearted side of being a mom, wife,oh and superwoman! We have to stay united in this! I love it, you made my day.

Hugs to you!

Fleur de Bee said...

ROFL! I am cracking up so much! I totally relate and I only have ONE child to deal with haha! I think Mr. Man should send you off on a vacation just because and give you a little time to relax haha!

I love the TOO BAD GET OUT part. I actually did that the other day and got "the look" thrown back at me from the back seat..hmm, wonder where she learned that one!


Tara said...

You described me beautifully! Thank you! Love-love-love your blog!! just came over from a post you left on my blog about the Cherish Bound business giveaway!! so excited you entered... you would LOVE THIS!! I'm so excited about the whole opportunity for every one who entered!! yeah!!

Karies place said...

All I can say is ROFL!!! And yet so true. :)

Thanks for visiting my blog. Feel free to come visit again any time AND visit my other blogs. :)

Hillary @ The Other Mama said...

All so true! You are making it just like the rest of us! Stained sleeves and dirty cars. Oh, they say we'll miss these days. I wonder if "they" are a little jaded. Not that I would trade a one... wait... maybe one.

Kathleen W. said...

I can so relate! Especially to #1